How to spot a Catfish.

A message from a former self-defence instructor.

In case you don’t know: Catfishing is when someone sets up a fake online profile to trick people who are looking for love, usually (almost always) to get money out of them.

The dead give always of the soulless scammer are: .

#1. They only have a few friends in their profile.

Because they just started it and have “friend requested as many potential victims as they can." These profiles don’t last long, they get caught and have to switch them up. Which is another reason they normally have a low amount of friends.

Another thing you will notice about their friends is they're women. They're in a rush and have one objective here and it’s not to make friends.

#2. They say they're in the military.

Often catfish reside in impoverished parts of the world, hence the desperation for scamming. I feel I need to say douche bags can also have money, live anywhere, and just simply be sick in the head. The military imposter always speaks to where they got that idea from.

Ex: Movies say women love protective, strong, disciplined men, who have an edge.

And the lack of creativity in characters in these scams speaks to a low level of access to worldly experiences. Sadly, one thing that almost everyone has access to is not food but Hollywood.

#3 The military character allows the scammer endless fictional stories, like being the hero, honorable living, and of course risk taking, that they can use to charm the bucks right out of these ladies bank accounts. I mean who doesn’t want to lend a hunk who just saved a small village of civilians a few dinero till he gets back to base?

The military character is also useful for the scammer because he has 101 excuses of why coming to meet his so-called love never seems to work out. “Oh my love I’m sorry I’ve been assigned to duty in Afghanistan, on a top secret emergency operation”. Don’t tell anyone though, we will be together soon, ps send $1000.00 so I can buy my plane ticket to see you.”

#4 They often pretend their home base is in the U.S.

A numbers game. America is the home of the brave, land of the free, American dream bla bla bla.

These scammers are playing a numbers game, I mean who hasn’t heard about how great it seems to live in America? And of course, America has the greatest Hollywood Military Hero movies that most ladies have drooled over. Making the characters used on these victims a symbol that's already entered the mental bedroom of many female minds.

#5. Their photos are only of them in their military gear, working out, or my personal favourite, with a little adorable child, often a daughter.

The photos of the noble father without their mother, oh yes, there will be a widower part to this disgusting story line. Pulling sympathy and heart strings a like of the victims who want so badly to have a family man who is also the “perfect protector for that family”, who is also loyal and capable of love, who is still wounded from the sudden loss of his wife cause women love to fix and nurture.

#6 And of course, OF COURSE, these scam-dammers, mother-truckers are always the stereotypically “super good looking & fit guy”.

BONUS TIP: If you find yourself having a brief chat with Mr. Dreamy and he asks you to go on a different, more private chat platform, like telegram or I think Google chat is another one - then get the hell out of there!!! RUN! (Tell them off first, then run. ; )

How do I know any of this?

Personal safety & security our high on my priority list coming from a self-defence background. Taking extra caution is a necessary reality these days. And unfortunately I know someone who was very very badly scammed. I've done my research and had many Catfish attempt to befriend me through social media.

What we can't do:

We can't really call the police. Least not here in Canada. This really sucks and seems so unfair, but I can also see how this could get real murky in an actual relationship, and why the police don't touch these cases. They tell me when I've inquired they are impossible to trace as well as the victims are technically willing participants when they say yes to send money to someone or worse their passwords.

What we can do:

Protect yourself with a cautionary mind. Prevention is the first and greatest line of protection. Trust your gut, ALWAYS! If you have a weird feeling, chances are high it's for a good reason. Share the Catfish's fake profiles to warn others. Don't engage and make sure to block them.

No one with good intentions will ask you for money, or anything salacious, especially when you have never actually met.

Your heart is priceless and your body wise my friend. Stay safe xo